Absence of Presence/Asking the wrong question

I recently finished a book called "A Sacred Sorrow: Reaching out to God in the Lost Language of Lament" (by Michael Card). There is so much from this book that I have gained and would love to write about, but the main thing I can share from it is the theme of Presence.

Card writes about how so often we view lament as crying out about our suffering - that is, the physical/tangible issues that cause us pain and heartache. And while this is true, he points out that real lament is crying out over the absence of Presence. God's Presence, that is. I would venture to say that I could have gotten through these last few years alright if I had felt God's Presence with me. It was the absence of Presence that broke me, not the infertility struggle and subsequent loss of baby Zach.

Think about it. On the cross, Jesus cried out "My God, why have you forsaken me?" Not - "Why am I being crucified?" or "Why am I suffering?" He was lamenting the loss of Presence. I can think of many times when I thought to myself, "I think I could bear this burden if I just sense His Presence. But it is gone!"

I recently started reading another book called "Where is God when Bad Things Happen" by Horace Duke (not to be confused with the Kushner book "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" or other books along those lines). I have only read through two chapters yet, but have been blown away already by the book. The thing that has struck me the most in what little I have read is this: in times of pain like I have experienced, often we ask the wrong question. That is, we ask "Why is this happening to me? Why do bad things happen? Why am I suffering?" While those are real and valid questions - and do need to be asked and worked through - the real question, the one that really needs to be addressed, is "Where is God when bad things happen?" Where is the Presence?

THAT is the real issue.