What is normal/Lamentations 4

What is normal for me?

-Taking my temperature every morning before I get out of bed and trying not to let it set my mood for the rest of the day
-Calling my doctor and my insurance company more often than I call my friends
-Trying to decide what to put on my son’s gravestone and visiting the cemetery where he is buried
-Dreading all pregnancy and birth announcements and baby shower and little kids’ birthday party invitations
-Keeping books on pregnancy loss, infertility, spiritual doubt and disappointment with God among my daily reading material
-Going overboard taking care of my cat since I don’t have a baby to care for
-Having constant bruises on my arm from frequent bloodwork
-Looking at myself in the mirror in disbelief – I don’t even know who I am anymore

How the gold has lost its luster,
The fine gold become dull!
The sacred gems are scattered
At the head of every street.

The Lord himself has scattered them;
He no longer watches over them.

I am blacker than soot;
I am not recognized in the streets.
My skin has shriveled on my bones;
It has become as dry as a stick.

I grope through the streets
Like a man who is blind.
Moreover, my eyes have failed,
Looking in vain for help.